It is widely believed in many quarters that many men like the outgoing, crazy and social girls against the quiet church going type. This may be why that is the case.
Christian men, what do you want in a relationship?
With so many pastors and leaders dating and marrying women who are not known for being “church girls”? It causes Christian women to question, what are Christian men really looking for?
Before I begin, let me state this disclaimer: I am not judging the men or women who are listed below. God meets each of us where we are. I praise God that these women have confessed Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.
However, for the sake of this post, I am basing my point of view on their public persona. There are so many Christian women who desire to be married. Due to their Christian beliefs, many find it hard to find a man outside of the church who possess the same values and standards they desire. So most look inside the church to meet a like-minded partner.
However, it seems as if they are the only ones. Over the past several years, many pastors and church leaders have gone outside of the church to meet, date and marry. Why?
I don’t believe this is a new phenomenon, however, with so many high profile relationships, this topic is quickly causing concern.
For example, several years ago, Bishop Noel Jones was linked with actress Lisa Raye.
In 2012, Pastor and studio executive, Devon Franklin married actress and self-professed party girl Meagan Good.
In 2015 NFL player Russell Wilson, a devout Christian started dating R& B singer Ciara. Their relationship received a lot of public scrutiny after his announcement that they agreed to remain celibate throughout their courtship. They married in 2016.
Pastor Jamal Bryant is currently dating R&B singer Tweet, who was introduced to the world in 2002 with her sexually-charged song, Oops. Tweet is now a Christian and has been deemed by Bryant as his Last Lady, meaning she is the “one” for him.
And just a few weeks ago actress, singer and talk show host, Adrienne Bailon celebrated her upcoming nuptials to gospel recording artist, singer, songwriter, producer and worship leader Israel Houghton with a Parisian-themed bridal shower.
Each of these ladies are beautiful and talented in their own right. And truth be told, there is no way of knowing what kind of personal connection they had with the Lord. However, none of these ladies have been affiliated or known for their Christian beliefs or values. The church is not lacking in the area of beautiful, talented women, so many Christian women are likely observing these romances and asking, why are they being overlooked?
Christian men what are you looking for? When left to our own devices, it causes women to question and wonder why. And here are a few theories that I’ve found currently floating around this topic:
1. Savior Complex
Could it be that some Christian men pursue women outside of the church because of the savior complex—a man’s need to save the damsel in distress? Could it be that men see the women in the church not needing a savior, so they pursue women who need one?
Some Christian women are pursuing celibacy prior to marriage. Could it be that some Christian men don’t share these same values and desire someone who is willing to have sex prior to marriage? So they pursue women outside of the church who share the same viewpoint?